A 2017 bride shares her biggest regrets
Hi everyone -today I will be sharing my biggest regrets from my personal wedding day
Our wedding day was perfect for us in most ways; however there was a few pieces of advice I wished I was told when I started planning our special day.
- It really makes you realise who your true friends and family are.
This maybe a sticky subject for a few of you, but this was a big one for us. Having invited the few family members I had left - only 1 actually showed up. Whilst this bothered me for a few weeks afterwards - myself and my now husband made a rule - anyone who didn’t come to our wedding (either reception or evening) and didn’t give a valid reason why, wasn’t a friend or family member worth worrying about.
This may sting for some of you, but realistically a wedding is to celebrate your love with those who want to love and celebrate with you, and if they don’t fancy coming because Britain’s got talent is on that night - then maybe you should rethink your relationship.
My advice: accept that you may have to emotionally and physically let some friends or family members go if you don’t feel like they’re making the effort with your wedding. It happens more than you think so don’t worry.
- Choose your wedding party wisely
This I’m lucky I did right - I had two bridesmaids (my 2 best girls) and I’m so glad I did. I very nearly had more people in the wedding party, but at the last minute, decided not to. This led to that one person that was going to get asked, but didn’t, finding out, and basically throwing a full on temper tantrum as to why they didn’t get to be a bridesmaid. Just what you want by your side on your wedding day eh?
Choose your wedding party carefully - it can be hard to get caught up in the thrill of planning a wedding - but think of it this way - would you trust this person to pull you up a mountain of you slipped off the edge? Because honey, sometimes wedding planning feels like a big ol’ mountain!
My advice: choose your wedding party wisely. If you cannot imagine this person being in your life 5 years from now - rethink asking them.
- Get financials in place - SET THAT DAMN BUDGET
I wish we had done this. Like MAJOR. I was swept up with the amazing selection of goodies and add-ons when it came to our wedding planning - and quickly realised that it was adding up to a lot of money. We had sat down and made a rough budget - but as the ‘this would make our day amazing’ conversations continued to happen - this went out the window.
We never wanted a ‘budget’ wedding - but as we were saving for a house too (crazy I know) we wanted to have a decent day - but not spend £35,000 doing it.
Six months before the wedding and the deposits and bills were due in - and with this, came some cut backs. Yes, we annoyed some vendors by eventually turning down their services, but at least we had an amazing wedding without spending a huge amount of Money.
My advice: if someone gave you one bill for your entire wedding - what would it be? £300 here and that can add up - and looking at the total amount spent can suddenly feel a little more ‘real’
- I wish I had done my own hair and makeup
I had 2 trials for makeup and 3 for hair. Excessive? Yes it was. However, after the endless hours on Pinterest trying to show the hairdresser and makeup artist what I wanted - I settled.
I admit this was a stupid move - when I had my trial done, it looked okay. Nevertheless, admittedly it did not look amazing. I am quite good with makeup myself, having a bit of an obsession with it and endless makeup tutorials watched and saved. Hand on heart - I wish I had done it myself.
My makeup wasn’t blended in properly, and my hair fell out halfway through the day. It didn’t ruin my day by any means, but it did make me wish I hadn’t spend £250 to have it done.
My advice: practice at home. Watch YouTube videos and use your current Makeup to try different styles. If you discover you aren’t any good at one or the other - ask for recommendations from friends.
- I wish I hadn’t obsessed so much
I have an all work no play kind of personality. So when it came to wedding planning, it fed into my obsession. For 18 months, I lived wedding planning. I made spreadsheets, budgets, word documents and even job lists for each wedding party member. Did it help? Sometimes. But did it help my stress levels? No. I actually had to take a few weeks off because I ran myself into the ground so much - that I ended up having to stay in bed for a few days.
My advice: yes have a good plan in place - but don’t obsess over it. Spend 1-2 days a week sorting things out - and then enjoy the feeling of being engaged for the rest of the week!
- BONUS - I wish I had let a professional handle the wedding gifts
Oh man do I ever wish I did this. I decided to make mini hampers. Cute Idea at first, but a week before the wedding, the boxes came torn and soggy. With no time to re-order and a meltdown on the horizon, I went to my craft store and decided to make the boxes myself.
I wish I hadn’t.
Long story short they had their goodies in a gift box that were made from takeaway boxes. You know, those ones like in McDonald’s the happy meals come in? After the wedding we all laughed about it, but everything about my day was so elegant and put together – why did this have to happen!
If I had take my own advice and trusted my instincts, I would have bought a ready-made and gift wrapped wedding gift. And I now make it my mission to help brides in similar situations.